I feel like I need to talk about Sasha buddy for a minute. He’s my four year old.
Here we are watching The Magic School Bus, snuggling, waiting for papa (Den) to get home before I have to go to work. Sasha makes my heart so full and yet hurt so much all at the same time. I suppose this is motherhood.
Denys and I talk about our strong-willed curious cute kid every night. We really have no idea what we are doing, and to be honest, that scares us. Of course we know WHAT we want to teach our kids and WHAT we hope for their futures, but the older Sasha gets, the more I feel like we have such little control over this. For example, I can teach him day in and day out all about sharing and loving his brother, but ultimately he decides whether or not it actually happens. We’re essentially powerless. (And I refuse to be a power-hungry parent anyway.)
I know he is only four! There is still time and hope. It just seems like he has a hard time grasping certain behavioral concepts, which can be frustrating some days. Or most days. But despite feeling like we have little control over the decisions he makes, I know it’s not completely true. Our words and example have a huge impact on who he becomes. So we try.
We try to love.
We say we are sorry.
We hug it out.
We try some more.
Sasha challenges us in ways we never could have imagined. This week he has been sick, so I try to be a bit more understanding, but boy has it been rough. One big rollercoaster ride. And then a friend on Instagram posted this quote and it couldn’t have come at a better time:
“So often, children are punished for being human. Children are not allowed to have grumpy moods, bad days, disrespectful tones, or bad attitudes, yet we adults have them all the time! We think if we don’t nip it in the bud, it will escalate and we will lose control. Let go of that unfounded fear and give your child permission to be human. We all have days like that. None of us are perfect, and we must stop holding our children to a higher standard of perfection than we can attain ourselves. All of the punishments you could throw at them will not stamp out their humanity, for to err is human, and we all do it sometimes.”-Rebecca Eanes
Boundaries and consequences are necessary, but there is so much truth to this quote. Don’t you think? I think I need to start putting myself in time-out more often and possibly go a bit easier on the sweet boy. I sure do love him.