Ever since my little set back with my tendon occurred, I’ve been in a tough spot to get out of. In my heart I would want to go running, but my mind could think of many reasons of why not to. I’ve been lazy, unmotivated, negative, and ultimately my passion for running was starting to fade.
I think what shocked me the most was when I silently and secretly wished to myself that I hadn’t registered for a half marathon. Of course you want to run that race, lazy Sarah!
But today I made myself run. I think I just knew that it if I was going to wait any longer (it’d been 5 days already) that it would only get worse and worse. Luckily, during the 4 mile run, I did a lot of thinking and figured out my slump.
Mile 3 was approaching when it hit me, “THIS run right now is NOT a race. It’s training. Training is not racing.” And it all surfaced. The constant need to race myself, but why? What for? To feel accomplished. But can’t I feel accomplished for simply running? Actually getting out of the door? Those are accomplishments too.
My running mindset had been way too competitive….with myself.
I’m really not a competitive person. If other people do better than me, awesome! I am only happy for them. Inspired by them even. I never realized though how competitive I can get with myself. I thought that was a good thing?
After getting hurt a few weeks ago, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to run faster or longer for awhile, ultimately “losing” to myself. I didn’t want to take steps backwards, only forwards, and just knowing that I was now “worse”, having taken a break to heal my tendon, made me not want to run. Additionally, I knew I wouldn’t want to push myself too soon because I’m afraid of getting hurt again. So what’s the fun in running if I’m just going to be slower? Or get hurt again? Or if I’m going to lose to myself again and again?
Truthfully, this all sounds so ridiculous right now but it is where I was stuck, only I didn’t know it. I thought my procrastination was just, “I’m too tired” or “I have a lot going on”. Those things were true, but they never stopped me before. What was really stopping me was being afraid of having just an okay run.
So, you guys who read this blog here (btw thanks!), I am committing myself to a week or two of just “okay” runs. I’m not going to try to do more than 4 miles at a time for the next couple of weeks and I’m not really going to push myself to go faster. I’ll probably stop mid run to do some stretching and if I feel like avoiding the hills, I will. My goal is just 4 miles of whatever.
Have you ever found yourself in a running slump? How do YOU get out of it?
What I call a Super Sweaty Selfie